March 27, 2014

Dear Bryan,

I have mourned you for a very long time and I have been sad for a long time.  In fact, I have been sadder than I ever thought one could be sad.  I went back to Grief Share this year and it has been really good for me.  When you first died and really for the past two plus years, I've felt like God hated me.  I know God didn't allow you to die to 'get me', but it certainly felt personal.  I did everything 'right' before I married you and we were supposed to grow old together and raise our children together.  I was left with the 'whys' and tons and tons of anger.

It has been lots of work, but I'm doing much better now.  I didn't realize that it was such a tough process to grieve!  Losing you was the single hardest thing I've ever done.  I hope you know how very much I loved you. 

Your wife,

Karyn